A few things I have read lately have struck a cord with me and really made me reflect on myself and my expectations of myself. One of them was a post by my awesome friend about honesty where she just laid it all out there and admitted to the world and herself that she's not perfect, and that's OK. The other was a post on a very widely read blog that I came across today about raising kids in this day and age and how different it is now than it was two generations ago. Today motherhood is looked at as something that isn't super important, if you choose not to have kids most people couldn't care less, but if you do choose to have kids then by golly you better be perfect at it. And that doesn't just include keeping the kids alive and the house intact, there's also the crafting and the home-schooling and cooking gourmet meals and dressing your kids in designer clothes and having all the latest and greatest gadgets and gear and the picture-perfect nursery and the list goes on and on. Websites like Pinterest have certainly fed into this mentality, but then there are all the mommy blogs where women show off how great they are at EVERYTHING. If you aren't supermom, if you can't do it all, then you've failed in the eyes of society. Add into that the pressure in LDS community to to do all of these things on top of church callings and FHE and temple attendance, etc. etc.
I have to admit that I have allowed myself to be sucked into this mentality and I have failed horribly by these standards at being a wife, mother and homemaker. And I have spent an unhealthy amount of time feeling guilty about it. I would love to be able to say right here and now that I am done feeling guilty and done putting so much pressure on myself to do it all, but I'm human and I can't change that fast. But I will say that my goal, or resolution if you will, for 2013 is to just focus on doing my best, taking things one day at a time and lowering my unrealistic expectations of myself. I have been told many times since becoming a mother that I am a good mom, this year I am going to strive to believe it!
I know that motherhood is my calling in life and the highest calling that I will ever have. It is the most important thing I can do with my life. This is another part of the reason I have felt so much pressure to be perfect at it. But I know that no one is perfect and Heavenly Father doesn't expect me to be perfect, he just expects me to do my best. That's enough for Him, so it needs to be enough for me!
If you didn't see it on Facebook, here is the link to the article I read. She lays it all out there pretty clear and I love her comparisons between "then and now." Why You're Never Failing as a Mother
1 comment:
What a wonderful post!
Jennifer, in the short time that I got to know you, I was astounded at your ability to be patient with your kids and truly be in tune with them. I love that about you- you're genuine and thoughtful. You're right- you ARE good enough. I know exactly how you feel (I think you know that already haha) and somedays I have to just close my computer and stop looking at pictures of those "perfect" lifestyles. But, to be honest (gah! so much honesty lately LOL) I think we've all done it. We, as moms, have all compared ourselves to others. It sucks, but it happens. I think its great that you want to recognize yourself and the awesome mother that you are. And by the way, I keep checking to see if baby #3 has come yet cause I'm sooooo excited for you!
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