Parenting Mistakes

I tried to find the right word to describe my parenting style using Dictionary/Thesaurus.com but I was unsuccessful. Some words that are close: “prissy” or “fussy.” Here are some examples of what I mean:

I don’t like Regan to be dirty.

I don’t like her to put dirty things in her mouth.

I have honestly given her 3 baths in one day.

I usually strip her down to her diaper to feed her if I am giving her real food (as opposed to a bottle).

If we are outside Regan is sitting on a blanket.

The other day Matt and I watched the movie “Babies.” I think it is my new favorite movie. It was SO cute and funny. But it really brought to my attention how nit-picky I am about Regan. The movie is a documentary of four babies around the world during their first year of life. They are in Japan, Mongolia, Namibia, and San Francisco. The Mongolian baby and the Namibian baby in particular lived very carefree lives where they were free to roam around wherever they wanted to and explore and discover their world. They often did this without any clothes on at all, let alone clean clothes because they were constantly crawling around on the ground. The Mongolian baby lived on a farm and he would be outside crawling around the animals. I think I would die if someone let my baby do that. But he was a perfectly happy and healthy little boy from what I could tell. The dirt did not kill him, nor did the animal poop that he probably ate with the dirt! And yet I can’t even let my baby crawl around in the grass without cringing and watching her like a hawk to make sure she doesn’t put the grass or dirt into her mouth.

I realized that by being this way I have affected Regan. Matt told me I need to let loose a little and let her get dirty and maybe even eat some dirt once in a while. So I took her outside today and plopped her in the grass to let her roam around. She just sat there and looked around, barely letting her hands touch the grass. She wouldn’t crawl on it and every time she decided she was going to go somewhere she would stop and make a face as soon as she put her hands in the grass. I feel like I have stunted her ability and desire to explore her world by keeping her cooped up in our clean apartment with her clean toys.

On Tuesday I had to work for 4 hours in the morning and Matt had to work as well. So we had his brother and his wife (who have 4 kids) babysit. They are the complete opposite of me. Their kids are always getting dirty and are free to roam around and explore whatever they want. They don’t strip their baby (who is 4 months older than Regan) down when he eats, they don’t put a blanket down for him to sit on outside, they don’t freak out at the beach when he gets a grain of sand on him; actually he eats handfuls of the stuff! So of course when I got Regan back from them she was a complete mess and I was secretly having a nervous breakdown because of it, especially since I wasn’t going straight home. But to my surprise the world did not end and Regan did not die because she was messy for more than 10 minutes. I really do need to let go and let Regan be a baby. I need to stop fussing over her so much, even when she is putting dirt or grass or sand in her mouth. After all, babies have been doing it since the beginning of time and most of them turned out just fine. I guess I just have to adopt the old saying that “God made dirt, so dirt don’t hurt!”