#4 - A Habit I Wish I Didn't Have

When I first started thinking about my answer for this post I thought of how I always crack my knuckles and have a habit of buying things I don’t need. But recent events made me realize the one habit I REALLY wish I didn’t have. I am always in a hurry in life. I was in a hurry to grow up and get married and have babies. And here I am, not even 22 and I have a husband and an 8-month-old baby. I absolutely do not regret these decisions though. Those were just a few of the times my habit didn’t make life worse or needlessly difficult. However, the event that brought this habit to my attention is making my life needlessly difficult and frustrating. Right now I am almost finished with a diploma (not a degree) program in Residential Planning. What is that you ask? Heck if I know! I guess it’s the quick way to get yourself into the interior design field. But for me it was a big mistake. I totally rushed into starting this program without really thinking it through or weighing all of my options because I felt like I HAD to be in school working towards becoming something. Of course I know now that I am still young and there is no need to rush into trying to find a career. Especially since my number one career for the next who knows how many years will be “mommy” and wife.” Now I am finding myself near the end of this program, $20,000 in debt because of course I chose the most expensive (and stupid) school I could (in my defense they suckered me into it) and realizing that I don’t even like what I am trying to become qualified to do. Yeah sure, some of the classes were fun and there have been a few times that I felt like I was doing the right thing and I liked interior design and wanted to make a living designing homes for rich people. But those moments were few and far between and now I can’t wait to be done because I hate it. I dread doing every assignment (and as a result procrastinate every assignment) because I don’t enjoy the work. So, I have decided I am really going to sit down and take the time to decide what I actually do like doing and find a way to make a career out of that. Again, not because I have to be the sole provider right now, but because it would be stupid of me to assume that that will always be the case. Some unfortunate event may happen in the future and then it will be on me to support my children and myself and I will need to have the skills and training (an a piece of paper to prove it) so I can go out and get a job. At the moment I am considering nursing and from there I would really like to become a Certified Nurse Midwife. I love babies and can’t imagine a more fulfilling career than bringing babies into the world. But I am NOT going to rush into it because I want to break that habit.